and then she decided to fall

so alice had run herself up thinking to much again
but this time she just switched off, turned around
she found the door, and behind the door she knew there was the hole

it beconed her it called, alice alice come come and fall

she opened the door and felt the air
the wind blowing upp a storm
she took a step, shut the door
standin on a ledge not even a foot wide
looking down
and there, there it was
black as black can be, just a hole
no walls to be seen around it nothing nothing to hold on to
she took her last deep breath and felt the wind ones more
chills moving into her soul

she lifted her foot and took the step out
and then she fell
no sound no scream no tears no joy
she just fell down down down
wondering will she find her way out once more
the last light moved away
in the darkness moving fast
allowing nothingness to swollow her whole

flamingo

in the magical hour inbetween
drums beat to make my walls trip
break into new moments
filling it with light
sounds movment purring touch
feeling energy for new life to begin

you take me in my head
lead me in the tunnel
darkness without dark
lifeless in heart
bottom never reached

in the pride of the morning
you tame me
take my fire to eat it all up
water comes pouring
leading me to postions
untouched by flames before

standing on all fours
begging petting
hold and grasp
to loose it all
for it all to begin again

screaching ears crying of pain
from the hollowness inside
making true sweetness show it´s face
leaving me to laugh on my own
visions of future pasts
makes me in the now
to live life once more

Unloading.

Sometimes when you fall and pick yourself up,
you fall just into and up to the right place.
Be ready cause it always happens,
when you come unprepared
Don´t try to find it where you think you will.
It is your life on your shoulders......
You won´t see it,
let it go.

Then lift yourself up and be strong,
and let the strength make you weak!
Let the weakness make you feel,
and then let go.
Accept what comes,
and pick yourself up and move on.

sometimes the forever sleep trys to lure me away to foreverneverland

I want to lay down on an open field
where the sun warms my every cell
where it melts away the hard pain
that sourounds my soullike shell
The pain that feeds on my life
and takes it away
that makes noone I love with me stay

I want to lay down in a black clear lake
and from there I never awake
All falls silent no voices for me to hear
my mind dissolves and there is no more fear

Eat me!

Soon her eyes fell in the little glass box that was lying under the table:
she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words
" EAT ME " were beautifully marked in currants. Well, I´ll eat it,
said Alice, " and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if
it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door: so either way
I`ll get into the garden, and I don´t care how it happens.
She ate a bit, and said anxiously to herself " Which way? Which way?"
holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing;
and she was quite suprised to find that she remaind the same size.
To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake.....
but Alice had got so much into expecting nothing out-of-the-ordinary-way things to happen,
that it seemed dull and STUPID for life to go on in the common way.

So she set to work, and soon finished off the cake.

fuzzy on the nakedness

broken creature
baby fever run away
whispers on my neck
is like true light feelt
light is universe
sex is hunger for lust
secrets open you up
open hard come
between my all
lifting me up up up

stop head I am feeling

that strange
unfamiliar feeling is setting
in my body
mind and soul
it hasn´t been there for years and years
don´t really know what it is
if it is
is what it wants to become

my daughter was once singing perfectlly
in the kitchen
she was tiny tiny maybe 3
everything came words melody and all
then I could see in her eyes that she started to think
about what she was doing
thinking not just singing
she lost the words the melody
suddenly she says
stop head I am singning
I guess I should take her advice and stop thinking
and let that strange feeling I know nothing about
take me in
so I say stop head I am feeling
and let the words and melody come

kill me now leave me after

before you are ready for the stillness to come
every form of comfort and love will bring
all your fucking shit to the surface
so kill me now and leave me after

beeing the sea

if you put a gold fish in a tank
the first thing it does is to swin in to the glass
after a while it learns how big the tank is
and stops and uses the little space it has been given

take the same goldfish and put it in the sea
it will only swim the amount of space it was given in the tank
the hole sea is there wild, unknow and most off all
it´s naturall inhabitat
it is conditiond to a life not meant for it
not wanting/ knowing how to get out

do you want to be the goldfish looking
not knowing the unknown
or do you want to be the sea
always moving into it self
new forms, new moods
old ancient beyond time memorys
unconditiond to live for ever

miss you no name no face

what a life then we die
please come to me make me cry
hahahigh you laugh at my face
me to emotional to speak to do
to do you
words forever forbidden

i miss you no name
in dreams you touch me
i lay still still i lay
tears tears tears tears

i miss you no name
please come in me make me cry
cause YOU have one life then you die

frantic murmur between naked orgasm
pleasure hard
smell erects
tongue into hole
insert jiggle cream my passage
stick enormus flesh
embrace firm breast
scream beg tickel
arouse lust tremble spray me
relax
worship my ache

water clear as fog

dreamgirl

dream girl is not me
me is girl not in dreams
beast of beasts
love of loves
heart near hearts
never felt, never touched, longning for it
not knowing where to look and feel
searching for the one thing never known

is it possible to know when it is found
or will it fade
like night into day
and day into night