I eat it all

sex

"No matter how much you know, no matter how much you think, no matter how much you plot and you connive and you plan, you're not superior to sex. It's a very risky game. A man wouldn't have two-thirds of the problems he has if he didn't venture off to get fucked. It's sex that disorders our normally ordered lives. I know this as well as anyone. Every last vanity will come back to mock you. Read Byron's Don Juan...Sex isn't just friction and and shallow fun. Sex is also the revenge on death. Don't forget death. Don't ever forget it. Yes, sex too is limited in its power. I know very well how limited. But tell me, what power is greater?...Because only when you fuck is everything that you dislike in life purely, if momentarily, revenged. Only then are you most cleanly alive and most cleanly yourself."

linking life to death and death to life
honestly in that natural cirkel there is nothing to fear

the fear that comes is when your truth is
inflicted on others
when you decide you know it all
when you judge with out knowing

see you want what isn´t yours
and you LIKE the bitter crap
coming from your mouth

you may have beauty, money and fame
but on the inside you rot
your heart eats it self
and a hollow room is left

for you I see no hope
but who am I to judge
still
you dug your grave
you made your bed
and one day you shall lie in it

http://www.purple-diary.com/

serpant

viper
vicious you are
and bit you do to you, to all
go to where you need
just please go..

lushes lips
touching every soul
you do, yes you do

but no witness
you will ever have
for
for
inside
you

how can it be
just so
in place
but still so lost
yes lost

but once found it you did
yes you did
yes you did

longing for that touch you will
no hands can make
trusting forever
you do
yes you do
bless you little serpant
viscous you are

T. S. ELIOT QUOTES

The Cocktail Party (1949)

It will do you no harm to find yourself ridiculous.

Resign yourself to be the fool you are.

You will find that you survive humiliation

And that's an experience of incalculable value.

That is the worst moment, when you feel you have lost

The desires for all that was most dersirable,

Before you are contented with what you can desire;

Before you know what is left to be desired;

And you go on wishing that you could desire

What desire has left behind. But you cannot understand.

How could you understand what it is to feel old?

We die to each other daily.

What we know of other people

Is only our memory of the moments

During which we knew them. And they have changed since then.

To pretend that they and we are the same

Is a useful and convenient social convention

Which must sometimes broken. We must also remember

That at every meeting we are meeting a stranger.

What is hell? Hell is oneself.

Hell is alone, the other figures in it

Merely projections. There is nothing to escape from

And nothing to escape to. One is always alone.

Half the harm that is done in this world

Is due to people who want to feel important.

They don't mean to do harm — but the harm does not interest them.

Or they do not see it, or they justify it

Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle

To think well of themselves.

There are several symptoms

Which must occur together, and to a marked degree,

To qualify a patient for my sanitorium:

And one of them is an honest mind. That is one of the causes of their suffering.

To men of a certain type

The suspicion that they are incapable of loving

Is as disturbing to their self-esteem

As, in cruder men, the fear of impotence.

I should really like to think there's something wrong with me —

Because, if there isn't then there's something wrong,

Or at least, very different from what it seemed to be,

With the world itself — and that's much more frightening!

Everyone's alone — or so it seems to me.

They make noises, and think they are talking to each other;

They make faces, and think they understand each other.

And I'm sure they don't. Is that a delusion?

Can we only love

Something created in our own imaginations?

Are we all in fact unloving and unloveable?

Then one is alone, and if one is alone

Then lover and beloved are equally unreal

And the dreamer is no more real than his dreams.

I shall be left with the inconsolable memory

Of the treasure I went into the forest to find

And never found, and which was not there

And is perhaps not anywhere? But if not anywhere

Why do I feel guilty at not having found it?

Disillusion can become itself an illusion

If we rest in it.

Two people who know they do not understand each other,

Breeding children whom they do not understand

And who will never understand them.

There is another way, if you have the courage.

The first I could describe in familiar terms

Because you have seen it, as we all have seen it,

Illustrated, more or less, in lives of those about us.

The second is unknown, and so requires faith —

The kind of faith that issues from despair.

The destination cannot be described;

You will know very little until you get there;

You will journey blind. But the way leads towards possession

Of what you have sought for in the wrong place.

We must always take risks. That is our destiny.

If we all were judged according to the consequences

Of all our words and deeds, beyond the intention

And beyond our limited understanding

Of ourselves and others, we should all be condemned.

Only by acceptance of the past will you alter its meaning.

Every moment is a fresh beginning.

HYSTERIA by: T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)

S she laughed I was aware of becoming involved

in her laughter and being part of it, until her

teeth were only accidental stars with a talent

for squad-drill. I was drawn in by short gasps,

inhaled at each momentary recovery, lost finally

in the dark caverns of her throat, bruised by

the ripple of unseen muscles. An elderly waiter

with trembling hands was hurriedly spreading

a pink and white checked cloth over the rusty

green iron table, saying: "If the lady and

gentleman wish to take their tea in the garden,

if the lady and gentleman wish to take their

tea in the garden ..." I decided that if the

shaking of her breasts could be stopped, some of

the fragments of the afternoon might be collected,

and I concentrated my attention with careful

subtlety to this end.

Rg veda creation

Creation Hymn

A time is envisioned when the world was not, only a watery chaos (the dark, "indistinguishable sea") and a warm cosmic breath, which could give an impetus of life. Notice how thought gives rise to desire (when something is thought of it can then be desired) and desire links non-being to being (we desire what is not but then try to bring it about that it is). Yet the whole process is shrouded in mystery.

Where do the gods fit in this creation scheme?

The non-existent was not; the existent was not at that time. The atmosphere was not nor the heavens which are beyond. What was concealed? Where? In whose protection? Was it water? An unfathomable abyss?

There was neither death nor immortality then. There was not distinction of day or night. That alone breathed windless by its own power. Other than that there was not anything else.

Darkness was hidden by darkness in the beginning. All this was an indistinguishable sea. That which becomes, that which was enveloped by the void, that alone was born through the power of heat.

Upon that desire arose in the beginning. This was the first discharge of thought. Sages discovered this link of the existent to the nonexistent, having searched in the heart with wisdom.

Their line [of vision] was extended across; what was below, what was above? There were impregnators, there were powers: inherent power below, impulses above.

Who knows truly? Who here will declare whence it arose, whence this creation? The gods are subsequent to the creation of this. Who, then, knows whence it has come into being?

Whence this creation has come into being; whether it was made or not; he in the highest heaven is its surveyor. Surely he knows, or perhaps he knows not.

emptyroomsandlargehalls

totaly screaming on the inside
but not abel to show one blink
because now is the time to be strong
no tears should fall
learn to respect is all

little girl who lost her mother
but the mother is also lost
unabel to give her all, all that is hers to have

hard eyes look at me with pain
somethings are so hard to explain
when sleep is lost and fire lures inside
words come out like a pistol shooting words

but I am not human so I don´t bleed
I take my self hate and I feed
skin and bones I become

enter my empty rooms and large halls
echos, ghosts, shit and grit
forever sleep soon will come
then I will rest from this pest

in my lap

gift, open yourself
miss what I never can`t have
like a puppy on a string

baby cakes are sweet
but bitter bitter you eat

finish your plate
and you will be all to late

yes I know
and my love I will you show

naked but dressed in armour
brake me take me
as I am
forgive if you are a man

the great score

hmm yes hard is oh so good
in many ways but one

hmm will you get some
ask curl over and over again

hey are you really my friend
hmm yes more oh yes some more

but then again just let me score

fucking your luck

miss fairy sweet
twinkel sprinkel all that fairy dust

where you feel it
then break your heart to lust

shifty you are
but stable enough to be free
problem is you don´t see

strings play
music in closed ears
shut eyes see all
fall baby you will fall

cause less will always be more

to restless
just be to be
turn around go straight up
I just say to you good fucking luck

stuff of mind

most things that makes you smile
smiles back at you

whatever you enjoy
enjoys you back
and brings you
what you want

don´t miss you´re chance
don´t go looking
don´t try to see
let it just be

to be blessed

soft is hard
small words
listen dare

important
no no it ´s not
but always
always the but

trembell within
i miss
what I already know
to know all is to let it go

play and you will trust

funny how games of life are
you laugh when you feel
and when you feel your sad

to be sad is easy
an excuse
to justifice your smile

tangel yourself
within

the freedom to do so what

logic is a curse
a twist
a knot

bless yourslef to be unkonwing
innocent
try you not to be
finally you won´t

for then see
you are already free

timessome

wardsback
to be who you are?
backwards
are you to be who?

answer me....
I am your question!
question you am I?
me answer....

I am
more you
than you are
Me

a tricky day a laid night

Those men will break your bones,
Don't know how to build stable homes.
* We lose our voice more each year
* Maybe we won't bring some
* Is there Cancer in the throat No Stress
Maybe its supposed to kill the success
* Because success needs killing
Murder is media
Forced laugh, Forged autograph,
* First my body, now my corpse
Those men will break your bones,
Don't know how to build stable homes.
Life is pain, Murder is fame,
* And if you're famous you might get aquitted
There's nowhere to run away
* Damn you I hope you pay
And finish the day-to-day
The games we play.
* Those men will break your bones,
* Don't know how to build stable homes.
I will stay at home
* And talk on the telephone,
Cos nothing in this world I want from you,
Don't free yourself, run and cry
Too scared to live
Too quick to die
* Those men will break your bones,
* Don't know how to build stable homes.
* Those men will break your bones,
* Don't know how to build stable homes.
* Those men will break your bones,
* Don't know how to build stable homes.

walking your life

little boy looking at your self made steps
dizzy within but oh so clear without
feelings are like clouds
catch them, you can´t

stop trying to reason

if you can
if you can

all your life you will try
enjoy your ride
never ever hide