måndag 31 augusti 2009

closed eyes wide awake mind

A nightmare is an unpleasant dream. Nightmares cause a strong unpleasant emotional response from the sleeper, typically fear or horror. The dream may contain a situation of extreme danger, or sensations of pain, bad events, falling, drowning, being raped, becoming disabled, losing loved ones, encountering unpleasant creatures or beings, being murdered, caught, attacked, eaten, squashed, stuck or burned, becoming diseased, frozen, trapped, decrepit, or otherwise facing death. Such dreams can be related to physical causes such as a high fever or being face-down on a pillow during sleep, or psychological ones such as psychological trauma or stress in the sleeper's life, or can have no apparent cause. If a person has experienced a psychologically traumatic situation in life—for example, a person who may have been captured and tortured—the experience may come back to haunt them in their nightmares. Sleepers may waken in a state of distress and be unable to get back to sleep for some time. Eating before bed, which triggers an increase in the body's metabolism and brain activity, is another potential stimulus for nightmares[1].

Occasional nightmares are commonplace, but recurrent nightmares can interfere with sleep and may cause people to seek medical help. A recently proposed treatment consists of imagery rehearsal.[2] This approach appears to reduce the effects of nightmares and other symptoms in acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.[3]

nightmare vs reality

wake up screaming
dream scenario
retard man with big black eyes and brown painted face
walks in to my apartment with bad ideas in his mind and heart

my daghter needs to be hidden
I wake up screaming....
cause somewhere it isn´t a dream
mix life lived with life lived in the fast lane
black eyes is the mirror of the soul inside

söndag 30 augusti 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJhanNs9obU

illa jag mår illa

ont i magen
ont i huvudet
ont kan inte äta
en tugga jag spyr
vad är det som händer

vill jag veta
eller veta jag redan?????
ta bort min kropp
eller vad det nu är
för så illa som jag mår nu
är ingen värd...

lördag 22 augusti 2009

Henry David Thoreau

Rather than love
Than money
Than fame
Give me truth

fredag 21 augusti 2009

night meeting sunrise

walking on an empty street
stopping to look in shop windows
seeing my shadow like reflection

wind blows up a storm around
but stillness comes in me
lovley quite morning
with your arms open and new beginings in your lap

last darkness of the night moves away
just before the sun rises to the top
light is color and harmony and I are one

Just like a woman

Just Like A Woman

Nobody feels any pain
Tonight as I stand inside the rain
Ev'rybody knows
That Baby's got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

Queen Mary, she's my friend
Yes, I believe I'll go see her again
Nobody has to guess
That Baby can't be blessed
Till she sees finally that she's like all the rest
With her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

It was raining from the first
And I was dying there of thirst
So I came in here
And your long-time curse hurts
But what's worse
Is this pain in here
I can't stay in here
Ain't it clear that--

I just can't fit
Yes, I believe it's time for us to quit
When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don't let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world.
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl.

Copyright ©1966; renewed 1994 Dwarf Music

torsdag 20 augusti 2009

onsdag 19 augusti 2009

from death to life from life till death, and till us do part.

speak to ear me no hear
breath me no touch

silence I want
silence I will take

thank you
little one

fire
dust
ashes

from earth you come

meet me at the gates
wake me
where no one dare me wake

death me becomes...
love you did me take!
form there I never will never awake

måndag 17 augusti 2009

söndag 16 augusti 2009

lördag 15 augusti 2009

divison of joy

When the routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
But emotions wont grow
And were changing our ways,
Taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again

Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
Our respect run so dry?
Yet theres still this appeal
That weve kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just cant function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again

fredag 14 augusti 2009

memorys lost but found again

http://www.myspace.com/carilekebusch

AURA

pierce my halo
make me a hole I can
love and loose all in

black to the black
you come on my back

you no can my
front eye look
man no man
ever will

inbetween spoke words
all is
secrets dark but oh so much light still
blinded you all are
and handel it you don´t

hard yes to see
but if you dare to last
sweet pain it is
yes it is...

if you kill my demons my angels WILL die

friend family no no foe
messy life would be with out you
stories you tell to little ears
that´s all they need to hear

we read in between all thoes lines
love is all and all is love

but hard it is to be
to be like you and me

radio in my head, thoughts in my heart.....

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

tisdag 11 augusti 2009

orbit

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

When the blazing sun is gone,
When there's nothing he shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, through the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

In the dark blue sky so deep
Through my curtains often peep
For you never close your eyes
’Til the morning sun does rise
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are

This drawing expresses how I feel most of my time.


måndag 10 augusti 2009

Strenght in weaknesses

Shaking on the inside.
Softness will give away to the hard.
Uncertain of my rides up and down.
Not knowing how to trust.
Hurt I will be.
But when I am able to feel the hurt I will always be free.

lördag 8 augusti 2009

Awakening

I wake in the early hours.
Looking at you sleep.
Eyes moving softly under eyelids closed.
Sweet lips slightly open, a sheet of moisture on skin.


I touch your cheek.
Whisper in you ear.
Moving closely around you.
Long legs streching my soft back bending.

With a sigh from dreamland you put your arm around me.
Drawing me to you and I feel your breath.
You smile and I smile.
And then we sleep again.

?

Going into the twilight without you
The you I know nothing about.
Confused?
Yes everything around us is.

How can you steal something without knowing your taking it?

Please take my heart open up my eyes.
Make me feel what everyone else takes for granted.

How can I love so much without really feeling?
Does this mean I don´t love?

I say no and no once more!

onsdag 5 augusti 2009

MAYA

empty sounds
fill me
completing
ever so fleeting

my soulmates
matings of soul
listen ( shh shh ) listen ( shh shh )
to the silence
for only the silence remains

openings
breating
like colors
moving thru my ears
like sound moving
in my nose
like your words
moving thru my mouth

the manchild

he is not a person
he is a shadow
shadow of a man

still a child
yet so old
sexless ageless
with a will
so strong to
be It all

sometimes failing
falling
thru the cracks
of sanity

into the dream
the dream
of his
shadow